Dare To Compare
What people present to the outside world on social media is an edited version of reality
What we dislike in others is often a weakness that resides in our own lives. The moments we spend comparing ourselves to others is a waste of precious time on this planet. Instead, we can use our minutes to brainstorm, implement, and execute changes into our own lives that will help us experience abundance. On a side note: it is natural to compare yourself at times, but it can be unproductive and unhealthy.
Have you ever looked at the skills, talents, or belongings of others wondering why I don’t have what they have. If I’m being honest, I struggled with this blog…what if it doesn’t look or sound professional enough? What if my grammar isn’t up to par? OR the worst fear of all…what if people don’t think I’m a good writer and make fun of my subject matter? Ahhhhh!!🤦♀️ Isn’t it so easy to let fear creep in, paralyze us, take hold, and stop us from living our best life. Heck, I’ve been thinking about signing up for acting lessons for years and years and never have. I just decided (literally as I type this sentence) that I’m finally going to do it. What have you been striving for? Ok, I got off on a tangent… this is a topic for another time….going to bring it back full circle now…ha!
I try to stop the comparison~ fear mindset by applying these Confetti 🎉 boosters to my daily regiment:
🔸Gratitude: En JOY. There are times in life when things don’t go as planned. We end up being frustrated or annoyed that our lives aren’t picture perfect…hey…nobody’s life is perfect…the challenges and struggles are real and no one is exempt…noone. It’s so easy to forget our blessings and focus on what we don’t have, which leads us to the danger zone. Instead, we should remind ourselves of all that we have to be grateful for and truly appreciate and hone in on the positives.
🔻Work Hard. Get up and get going. Momentum is real. We all have dreams we would like to become reality, but only a few understand that we have to work for it. We have to take initiative and put in the effort; not depend on luck or other’s to make it happen.
🔹Seize Each Day. All of us are given the gift of a brand new day…to clear the slate and start over. We wake up every morning with the ability to begin a new chance or opportunity to create a life we desire or strive for. Let’s try to make good use of our unique strengths, talents, and resources to transform our challenges into opportunities.
🔸Encouragement. Try to find encourangement from other people’s successes. Be inspired by their work and let their success further encourage you to keep going. Allow people to be your mentors. Hey, there is room for everyone to jump aboard the triumph train…while we’re snooping on other’s lives on social media, we might as well take other’s intimidating victories and turn them into motivation to do better.
The irony is that social media is all about comparison: of ourselves to others, of others to others…that’s the hazardous side of social media. The deeper we go into the age of the internet and social media it becomes crystal clear that the more superficially connected we are the more we tend to compare our whole being to the parts of others that we are connected to; to the parts we can see. Our highlight reels are put out there for the world to see and our bad days are buried somewhere we hope will never see the light of day. So we aren’t going to “SEE” others bad days, we aren't going to see their dark moments like we see our own because these are things we don’t like to put out on the airwaves and neither does anyone else.
So of course this allows us to look at ourselves, and then look at others and say …“I want what they have.” This makes us feel short changed, discontent, and yearning for more~this is the root/heart of comparison robbing us of joy. It takes away our gratitude, hard work, and opportunity to seize each day.
Bottom line… social media paints a skewed picture of one’s social universe. People share peak experiences and flattering news about themselves. The fake news that is displayed is almost perfectly constructed to make viewers feel deficient, disappointed, and discouraged.
It is important to note that the effects of our comparisons does depend on how each of us process the information. Back in the day, comparison provided useful sources of motivation and growth for our ancestors. However, in the social media world we live in today, things have flip flopped. More often than not, comparison puts us into a wild frenzy of self doubt. I’ve been researching social comparison theory and come to find that not all comparisons are equal. ⬆️Upward comparison happens when we compare ourselves to people who are better than us. ⬇️Downward comparison judges our experiences by comparing it to people who have it worse. The first can certainly push us “over the edge” while the second one makes us count our blessings. Does this make sense?
All of us have the ability to change the narrative…we can choose to believe the story(teller) or choose reality. Here’s an example I think we can relate to: picture yourself stuck at the office counting the hours until “quitting time” when you decide to quickly scroll through your instagram feed... 💥 boom…Bella and her friends and family are on a beach in Belize…immediately that little voice inside starts to say things like…she is so lucky...what a life…I want to be on a beach right now. What we haven’t “seen” or heard about is her delayed flight or her luggage getting lost.
SO, in summary, what I’m trying to put into words, is that we create narratives based on incomplete/false information. We often accept them as the truth, forgetting we can reject them at any time we choose. Next time, let’s try to CHOOSE a narrative that makes us happier. Your happiness depends on where you’re focusing your attention, energy and enthusisam. Isn’t it liberating knowing we can choose our contexts?🙌🏻✨
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” ~Theodore Roosevelt
