Make The Best of The Empty Nest
It’s awfully quiet around here….
They grow, we nurture them, and watch them fly away. Suddenly our nests are empty, our children are gone off to find their place in the world. How will we cope? Whatever will we do with ourselves? When the family home empties parents often start feeling lonely. Their purpose for living ~taking care of their children ~has vanished. This is when the Empty Nest Syndrome sets in.
It is a huge transition to go from a home full of lively teenagers to an empty home. Suddenly there’s no one to take care of but yourself. This can be very difficult for a lot of us, but there are things we can do to make the change less painful.
Empty Nest Syndrome is something that effects every parent eventually, on one level or another. A void has been created where the chattering, goofing around, laughing, loving, fighting, and cleaning up messes used to be. Letting the kids finally leave home to find themselves is not easy no matter how much you may try to deny or avoid it.
Our children fulfill all of our psychological human needs. They are everything to us, and even though it’s nice to think it’s just because we love them, it goes so much deeper than that. Who would have thought our kids would have such a profound effect on our well being? Empty Nest Syndrome is caused by the loss of one of the greatest sources of fulfillment we have ever known. The first step is acceptance, then comes understanding, and finally finding other sources and outlets to meet/satisfy our needs.
Reclaim your identity, find something to do, enjoy your spare time, and stay busy. ✨ Find something that makes you happy and go for it. Find new hobbies, do volunteer work, go get a pet to love, journal, clean out those closets, or redecorate all the new space you suddenly have in your home.
We became empty nesters several years ago so it was vital for us to reconnect, reinvest, and nurture our own relationship as well as our many friendships. I have listed nine Confetti tips 🎉 that have helped us ROCK the Empty Nest Syndrome(in no particular order of importance😉):
🔺Go to a concert. Music is good for the soul, especially 80’s rock. We try to head over to Hard Rock Live every couple of months to enjoy our favorite Classic Live house band.
🔹Go to the gym. I have found when you keep a daily workout regime you feel better equipped to deal with your day because you feel better about yourself.
🔸Binge watch your favorite Netflix. We have enjoyed Stranger Things, Ozark, Designated Survivor, Dead To Me, Peaky Blinders, and the list goes on and on.
🔻Go on regular dates. We love Disney Springs. We enjoy the ambiance and all the wonderful restaurants, bars and shops. It’s so fun to have no appointments, no schedules…and to just make it up as you go along.
🔹Get more sleep. Don’t ever feel guilty about sleeping in or taking a midday nap. You will feel better rested, have more patience, and enjoy a brighter outlook on each day.
🔸Go to Happy Hour. There is nothing like meeting up with friends at 5pm (or much earlier in some cases) at your favorite hangout spot to enjoy a drink or two or three. Prosecco please!
🔺Get organized and declutter. I have gone through every closet and room in my home to get rid of clutter. It is so liberating to finally learn that less is definately more.
🔹Have more sex. This will help keep you connected with each other and strengthen your relationship. Time to rediscover flirting.
🔸Organize your memories. This is a great time to get all your family photos out of those boxes/drawers and into albums or uploaded on your computer in virtual albums.
Marriages can be particularly vulnerable at this juncture and subject to change. Think about it for a minute, as parents we are so busy with all that’s involved in raising our children on a day-to-day basis that our own relationship problems may go unrecognized. From the research I’ve done, it can be common for long-term problems in the marriage to surface at this time. It goes without saying that couples who wait until the kids are gone before dealing with their marital problems run a greater risk of late-life divorce. Some couples discover they have nothing in common anymore and their children were the glue holding them together.
So now we make way for the problems and issues that were squelched to keep peace for our kids sake and now they become front and center. One of the biggest warning signs is withdrawal and lack of interest in the relationship. While I don’t think the Empty Nest Syndrome causes divorce, I do know that things can drastically change when our kids ‘fly the coop.’ We are so busy keeping up with all the sporting events, homework, endless responsibilities and activities of parenthood that we neglect our relationship as lovers, as friends, as husband and wife.
In conclusion, this time in our marriage can pack a 1-2–3 👊🏻 punch of emotional, social and physical change. A friend once told me that marriage isn’t supposed to make you happy. It’s supposed to make you married. Only you are in control of your own happiness and it is a choice you make each day. Ok…so this is a lot to digest. I’m going to end with my little summary, my two cents, my 28 years of marital experience…Marriage is a partnership. It’s being on the same team. Stand by each other. And always sprinkle kindness like confetti.💛
